Saturday, April 11, 2009

Reasons to give

Song by musical comedian Tim Minchin performed at the 2007 Melbourne Comedy Gala Telethon for Oxfam Australia. Lyrics reproduced here for interest's sake, but edited in keeping with this blog's unapologetically prudish sensibilities. If you want the whole song, it's easy to find on YouTube.

I would be a liar if I pretended to admire
The redlight windscreen cleaning empire
That you've built
But my heart is good,
It's not a thing of stone or wood,
I'll give you 50 cents to take away my guilt

I give money to folks who just don't have enough
To try to justify the future purchases of stuff
That I don't need.
I know that one less vodka cranberry tonight
And I could feed some foreign family for a fortnight

But I just might have one more,
After all, what is vodka for,
. . .
But dampening the guilt you feel about your perfect life.

CHORUS

What is all this hoo-hah for?
There only one reason I'll call 1-800-034034
It the force that drove Theresa,
And that school that Oprah built,
I'll give you 50 bucks to take away my guilt.

CHORUS

I'm not pretending anymore,
That I really give two %^$*s,
About some kids in Bangalore,
I'm not interested in seeing the Solomons rebuilt,
But I'll give you 50 bucks to take away my guilt.

It's tremendously cynical and not completely true. For all of us who live easy lives, though, it's true some of the time, and for some of us it's true all of the time. Guilt is not a solely bad thing - only disordered personalities are completely without it. When it is the sole motivation for charity, though, it becomes awfully patronizing.

It is the difference between "I am paying you to absolve me of my guilt for living so well." Instead of "I am giving you this because I know how easily our positions can be reversed." It's the difference between the rather unglamourous work done by an organization like Human Rights Watch, and the current trend amongst Hollywood celebrities to adopt starving African children.

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